Originally Posted on The Coaching Tools Company as Goal Ecology: 3 Areas to Explore When Clients Don't Complete their Actions! (With Questions)
We’ve all had a client who says they want to achieve a goal but consistently avoids and—for one reason or another—does not complete their actions.
Instead we need to recognize that our lives are complex these days. Trying to achieve our goals can have consequences that ripple out into other areas. Sometimes in the rush to set or achieve goals we forget to step back and see how our goals fit (or don’t!) into the bigger picture of our lives.
So, when you have a coachee who is not completing their actions, instead of getting into a tug-of-war with them, instead explore something called Goal Ecology.
Why Goal Ecology?
When we check a goal’s ecology, we help our client look at the wider implications of a goal—and its actions. We are helping our clients set and achieve meaningful goals that also fit into their lifestyle, commitments, priorities and relationships.
It’s about ensuring goals work for our clients in the context of their lives. And it’s also about ensuring the goal is appropriate in the first place.
So, let’s take a quick look at 3 ‘ecological’ reasons why a client may not be completing their actions (along with some ideas of questions you could ask) below:
3 Key Ecological Goal Factors
1) Congruency
When our goals don’t align with our deepest selves we usually find a way to sabotage ourselves. So we need to check:
- Is the goal what they really want? Or is it an outdated goal—or even someone else’s goal for them?
- Is the goal congruent (in alignment) with their values and who they are?
Maybe the goal is really their mom’s or their partner’s. Or perhaps it’s an internal “should” that they don’t truly believe in.
So if you have a client consistently doesn’t complete their actions, look at congruency!
Questions you could ask:
- How important is this goal to you personally? (use scale of 1-10)
- How does this goal align with your values? (use scale of 1-10)
- TIP: If you’ve done values work with our clients, you could refer to their top 5-10 values in turn, and ask them to score out of 10 how well it aligns with each value. Any low scores may need exploring and may suggest an inner conflict.
- Suppose for a moment that you have your goal, what is it like? What do you feel? What are you seeing, hearing and saying to yourself?
- This is a useful check to explore how the client experiences successful completion of their goal—and look for inner challenges and conflicts.
- If you could have this goal NOW, would you take it? If not, why not? Explore…
2) Unexpected Personal Impacts
Sometimes we want something, but our lives are just too busy, complicated or stressful to take on another project.
What unexpected impacts might come from taking action towards—or achieving their goal? Does the client have the time, energy or space in their life for this goal right now?
Questions you could ask:
- What other areas of your life might be affected by this goal or change?
- Where does this goal fit with your priorities and current lifestyle?
- How do you feel as you consider the additional effort needed to take action towards this goal?
- What is the price of making this change? Are you willing to pay the price?
- What’s good about your current situation? How can you keep the good aspects of your current situation WHILE still making the change you want?
3) Relationship Impacts
Relationships matter. And sometimes we’ll self-sabotage if we think our actions will upset or make life more difficult for others.
So help your client consider how taking action (or achieving the goal) will impact other people in their life? What changes will the goal bring in how they interact with people? Who might get upset? Who will they need to say “No” to?
Questions you could ask:
- Who else (other than you) will be impacted by you achieving this goal? And how does this affect how you feel about your goal?
- What will others think about your goal? How will they react?
- Who, in your life, might feel threatened if you achieve your goal?
- How might your relationships be better with this new goal?
- How might your relationships be worse with this new goal?
Next Steps
By exploring goal ecology we uncover ‘flaws’ in a goal which may require fine-tuning—or even rewriting the goal altogether.
Areas that may require change (an increase or decrease) include:
- The ambition or timescale of the goal.
- The amount of time and effort our client chooses to put in.
- How committed our client is: they may need to step up and prioritise their goal, choosing to let go of other activities and commitments.
- Taking smaller steps and actions that originally envisioned.
- Adding in some ‘set-up’ pre-work actions before they can get started on their goal.
- The client may need to first get others on board. Or they may need to decide they’re going for it anyway—no matter what others think!
Wrap-up
Helping clients set an ecological goal is a key part of the coaching process. It’s where we raise their awareness around the bigger picture and help them adjust their actions and goals accordingly.
And in doing this we also ensure our clients are better prepared, more committed—and are more likely to succeed!
Like this article on Goals and Goal Ecology? Try:
- A Simple 3 Step Process to Measure Progress Towards ANY Coaching Goal!
- 25+ Powerful Questions to Ask When a Client Does NOT complete their Actions
- How Serious IS Your Client About Their Goals? 5 Quick Tests!
- Our Vision and Goal-Setting Toolkit!
