Originally Posted on The Coaching Tools Company as From Confidence to Creativity: 7 Surprising Benefits of Self-Kindness by Emma-Louise Elsey
How would you like to feel better both mentally and physically, be more confident, more productive, more creative—and maybe even feel happier? Well, being kind to yourself may just be the answer!
But before we get into the awesome and surprising benefits of self-kindness, let’s talk about your clients for a moment. How many of your clients are upset or frustrated with the state of their workplace, communities or world?
These days our clients are increasingly stressed and overwhelmed. People are tired of the divisiveness, intolerance, insults and bullying—especially online.
We’re unkind to ourselves as well. Many people overlook their own needs, cramming their lives full of work and social activities, so they’re in a constant state of rushing, stress, and overwhelm.
No wonder kindness is a hot topic
With our world the way it is, it’s no surprise that the concept of kindness is gaining popularity in business as well as personal contexts.
Kindness is a refreshing antidote to the online space and the cutthroat world of business. And it also sits well with the younger generations who expect more ‘care’ and corporate responsibility from their leaders and employers.
People want—and are ready for—a kinder world. And as coaches already know, all change starts with ourselves.
Learning self-kindness can be challenging
Modern culture is all about doing, achieving and getting things done. Our societies (especially the capitalist corporate world) still see kindness as weak, ‘soft’ or childish.
Which means that many of our clients overlook their own needs, brushing aside uncomfortable feelings and pushing through fatigue and illness in order to meet deadlines, achieve goals, secure promotions—or avoid disappointing others.
Which means that being kind to ourselves can feel really uncomfortable.
Being kind to yourself spotlights deep societal and personal expectations…
Self-kindness is a powerful topic that brings up limiting beliefs for people around self-worth, gender norms, workplace and cultural expectations and self-judgement to name just a few.
Even just thinking or talking about being kind to ourselves brings up powerful expectations and limiting beliefs.
Self-kindness takes courage—and coaches can help!
So, in our modern world, it takes courage to stop, face your limiting beliefs and fears, listen to what you need—and then be kind to yourself.
And as people begin their self-kindness journey, they’ll need your coaching and support to weed out their limiting beliefs and explore what might be getting in the way.
How can you begin the self-kindness conversation?Well, next time your client is overwhelmed, stressed, wants to say “no” or set a boundary, simply ask, “What would it look like if you were kind to yourself here?”. |
Then from there, one really good place to deepen the conversation around self-kindness is helping our clients understand—and personally connect to—all the benefits of self-kindness for them.
Here are 7 Powerful Benefits of Self-Kindness
Being kind to ourselves is much more than a ‘touchy-feely’ idea. There are countless reasons to be kind to yourself—many of which are supported by scientific research. Here are some key advantages of self-kindness:
1) Better Mental Health
First, treating ourselves with self-kindness reduces our stress—and also increases our resilience. Plus, when stressful situations do occur, self-kindness gives us a more positive outlook, so we bounce back faster with fewer self-recriminations.
Self-kindness also helps us regulate our emotions, reduces mood swings, and can help reduce both anxiety and feelings of depression.
2) Better Physical HealthWhen we’re kind to ourselves it lowers the stress hormone cortisol—which is good for our bodies. Also, self-kindness creates a calming self-connection that then helps us make better lifestyle choices like healthier eating, getting more sleep, exercising more etc. |
3) More Confidence
Self-kindness is literally an act of valuing yourself.
When we’re unkind to ourselves we get into a habit of fault-finding. Whereas being kind leads us to be more accepting and forgiving of our flaws and mistakes—boosting our self-esteem.
In addition, being kind to ourselves leads to less self-judgement and perfectionism. That’s because self-kindness counteracts our negative self-talk and helps us accept ourselves as we are (not as we think we should be). Which means that the drive to perfect and judge ourselves is reduced.
4) Increased ProductivityBeing kind to ourselves helps us get more done by reducing self-doubt and procrastination. And this gives us more motivation and energy for our goals and helps us believe in ourselves more. Studies also show that self-kindness makes us better problem-solvers and even improves our memory! |
5) We’re Nicer to Others
Change really does start with ourselves…
When we’re kind to ourselves, we have more energy to regulate our own emotions.
So self-kindness gives us the mental space to empathise and be kinder to others: we’re more understanding—and less tense or stressed. All of which makes us a better colleague, partner, parent and friend.
Take a moment now to imagine how much kinder our world would be if we were all kind to ourselves.
6) More CreativitySelf-kindness promotes less critical and more relaxed self-talk, so it’s easier to have ideas. We’re also more likely to take creative risks because we’re more supportive of ourselves—and less focused on what our inner critic thinks. |
7) Overall We’re Just Plain Happier
Self-kindness helps us feel better about ourselves and our life. It boosts our relationships, goals and work which leads to a more positive outlook on life. Plus, we’re also in a stronger place to set boundaries and meet our own needs.
So, that’s a quick run through 7 key benefits of being kind to yourself. Which resonated with you?
Wrap-up
Most of us live in unkind, and arguably, toxic cultures. Our world is becoming increasingly VUCA: Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous. People are tired, stressed and overwhelmed, and there’s a general lack of care of ourselves, each other and our world.
So kindness is something we all need right now. And the easiest and best place to start making change is with ourselves. Remember Gandhi’s quote: “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
Coaches can make a big difference in our world by helping clients face their limiting beliefs and overcome their fears so they can enjoy all the benefits of being kind to themselves.
And remember: as we each take better care of and are kinder to ourselves, not only do we experience all those personal benefits, but we also become a more patient and understanding partner, friend, colleague and parent. Thus we create a ripple effect, helping create that kinder world we all wish for.
Want to Learn More about How to be Kind to Yourself?
|
You may also like:
- The Infographic: 12 Courageous Ways to be Kind to Yourself
- Guided Loving-Kindness Metta Meditation Video to Help Your Clients Be More Self-Compassionate by Sura Kim
- 4 Self-Love & Compassion Practices for You and Your Clients by Lynda Monk
