Originally Posted on The Coaching Tools Company as How (& Why) to Take Notes and Be a Better Coach! | Get "Heart to Heart" with Julie Johnson MCC & Jane Mobille
| In this “Heart to Heart with Julie” column, Julie Johnson MCC shares sample coaching conversations and situations to help you grow along with her learnings, ideas and practical tips to help us all become better coaches. These are real coaching experiences that illustrate common issues coaches face.
We encourage you to share your thoughts, learnings and own experiences in the comments below! These articles were first posted on Julie’s blog, The Coaching Cube, and have been updated for inclusion here. |
In this article Julie and Jane reframe note-taking during coaching sessions from something dull and necessary—to something exciting and transformative. They share an example from a coaching session of what note-taking might look like, and also share a super-useful list of the kinds of things to take note of—especially if you want to coach deeply!
Introduction
Boring? At first glance, the topic of note-taking may seem a bit dull. However, we beg to differ and propose that good note-taking offers precious insights as to what might be going on ‘between the lines’ (no pun intended) during a coaching session.
We believe that in every conversation, fascinating things are unfolding in front of our very eyes… if we only look and listen beyond the obvious—and take note.
Beyond basic note-taking…
Crucially, whether you’re noting things during a session or afterward—we want to focus not only on the obvious (what’s ‘above the surface’ , but also on what’s ‘below the surface’.
The ‘below the surface’ (more subtle) observations can be both brief and revealing. And if we don’t capture them when they appear, we risk losing them—and the opportunity to go deeper—forever.
You may be asking, “Why not just interrupt and name what you notice, rather than writing it down?”
That may be the choice you make in the moment, yet often it isn’t. For example, you may not wish to distract the coachee from the more obvious things they’re sharing. Plus, to interpret an ‘under the surface’ feeling or non-verbal cue, we first need to understand its context—so it’s often better to wait.
Here’s a coaching conversation with example notes:
- Coachee: “I start out the week fine. By Wednesday, I’ve lost control, it’s just impossible.” Looks down and slumps shoulders.
- Coach: “What’s impossible?”
- Coachee: “Everything!” Scowls. “I’m tired of feeling overwhelmed. I’ve been working longer hours. Even that isn’t helping! It’s like my ‘to do’ list just expands along with them.” Lips shake.
- Coach: “What would make things better?”
- Coachee: Silence. Eyes well up. Looks away. Sigh.
- Coach: Lowers voice. “Tell me how I can support you.”
- Coachee: Pause. Rubs eyes with sleeve. Sits up tall. “That’s easy. Help me prioritize my ‘to do’ list. Help me find a strategy to stay focused on the priorities so that I can check some important things off as done!”
- Coach: Smiles. “OK—let’s go!”
Here are the coach’s notes:
- “Week, by Wed. lose control. Impossible”. (Slumps)
- (me) What is impossible? (Glares. Makes me feel guilty!)
- “Overwhelmed, to-do list expands”. (Lips shaking)
- (me) What would make things better? (Eyes well up. Seen this before. What’s the real issue? Job not meaningful?)
- (me, gently): How can I support you? (Sits up. + Energy)
- “Strategy to prioritize, focus, check off.” (Confident response!)
- Brainstorm strategies. (What was behind tears? What is he not ready to share?)
Here’s our take:
In this example, the coach danced with the coachee. The quick energy change didn’t give the coach the space to name the emotion. But it’s captured in the notes, ready when needed.
In reality, your ‘under the surface’ notes may or may not be of use that day. And sometimes while you’re in the flow of coaching, something resonates enough for you to have written it down, even if you’re not sure why. The notes may reveal a pattern that you’ll notice in the future.
Now it’s your turn: here are some useful things for you to take note of
Below you’ll find a robust list of noteworthy items, generated over the years by senior leaders who are learning coaching skills in my Coaching is an Art training program.
‘Above the Surface’ Observations to Note (requires beginner-level coaching skills)
- General: What the coachee says.
- Language: The exact words they use—actual quotes, terms, names, adjectives/adverbs, acronyms etc.
- Ideas: Where you are their scribe while they’re brainstorming—they’ll be thinking hard and having to note their own ideas could disrupt their creative process!
‘Below the Surface’ Observations to Note (requires higher-level coaching skills)
- Silences, body language, facial expressions, changes in tone or volume and feelings.
- Possible new connections (that you as coach) are making between apparently unrelated events.
- Potential structure to an as yet chaotic story or plan.
- Themes emerging in your mind—similarities that connect different stories.
- Observations of behaviours that support or contradict themes discussed.
- Feelings that you feel as the coach, while in the presence of the coachee along with ideas on what could be causing this.
- Observations of the (hopefully deepening) relationship developing between the two of you.
And Coachees Love When We Take Notes!
We’ve found, that by focusing on both the ‘above’ and ‘below the surface’ dimensions, coachees appreciate and enjoy:
- The fact that their coach has recorded the explicit, as it gives them the space to simply think and create.
- A break from being ‘observed’, as their coach looks down to note something.
- Having their thoughts read back to them verbatim, from time-to-time.
- Seeing that their coach values what they’re saying enough to want to capture it.
- Knowing that their coach is listening.
- Their coach arriving at each session having reviewed their notes beforehand—with the details of past session(s) top-of-mind.
Over to you
Do you agree that what’s happening between the lines is anything but boring?
Note-taking really is our best tool for capturing this nuanced information, because it so often reveals clues and patterns crucial for a deeper understanding of the coachee’s situation.
Observing both ‘above’ and ‘below the surface’ is indeed the key to fully supporting our coachees’ goals and transformation.
Share your thoughts with Julie in the comments below.
If you liked this “Heart to Heart” column from Julie Johnson, you may also like:
- Learn to Love Silence in Your Coaching Sessions! | Get “Heart to Heart” with Julie Johnson MCC
- One Courageous Way to Deal with Overconfident Clients | Get “Heart to Heart” with Julie Johnson MCC
- You can also learn more about Julie’s Coaching Program for leaders here: Coaching is an Art ….(where leaders develop a strong coaching leadership style)
Author Bios
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Contributing author:
Jane Mobille PCC, CPCC, CPQC is an Executive, Career, and Life Coach. You can connect with Jane on Linkedin here >> |
