Originally Posted on The Coaching Tools Company as DEIB in Coaching 7) Recognize and Use Your Power Wisely! | by Abena Baiden & Emma-Louise
Diversity is a fact. Equity is a choice. Inclusion is an action. Belonging is an outcome. Arthur Chan, Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Strategist
We’re excited you’re here!
If you’re reading this, you’re most likely looking for ideas or wondering how coaching can be more inclusive. Yes, this topic of Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging (DEIB) can be intimidating or uncomfortable, but the more we normalise it—and approach it and ourselves with empathy—the easier it will become. Whether you agree or disagree with the points made in this article, it is our hope that reading it promotes awareness and, of course, action!
This article is part of a series where we’ve suggested 7 Ways You Can Increase (Your) Cultural Awareness in Your Coaching Practice. Here we explore Step 7) Recognize and Use Your Power Wisely!
Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. Maya Angelou
DEIB (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging) goes beyond feel-good ideals—it’s about real, practical outcomes that impact all of us.
And for coaches, understanding and applying DEIB principles is essential for supporting clients from diverse backgrounds, helping them reach their full potential.
A more inclusive coaching approach deepens trust, improves communication, and creates stronger client relationships. Additionally, DEIB is critical for navigating the complexities of today’s global world, where varied perspectives drive personal growth and success in all areas of life.
We are in the business of personal development. And as such we have a responsibility to always be learning and growing alongside our clients. And crucially, we want to avoid harming others through our ignorance.
As a coach, whether you like it or not, you’re in a position of power and influence
As a coach, mentor, counsellor, leader, HR manager or similar, you are in a position of power. The people you work with likely look up to you in some way, whether you wish it or not.
And if you are in the world as a group or team coach, manager, trainer, speaker or moderator you are working with many, in a public position of power: whatever you do or say is visible by many people. And this makes your power greater.
So in this article we’re calling you to be aware and conscious of your influence and power. We ask you to consider how you interact with those around you—especially publicly— whether it’s in your local community, workplace, online forums or in your coaching space.
What has this got to do with DEIB?
Well, when in a position of power, we can and do influence the lives of people around us: our power has the ability to shape and alter someone’s experience in the world.
And when those people are different, marginalised or in the minority our actions and words can have broader impacts (both positive and negative) than we realise.
How might your power affect people?
Whose progress in the world might you affect through your words and actions? Here are some areas to consider:
- Your attitudes might impact someone’s confidence or trust in themselves to stretch and try new things.
- Your words and actions might impact who gets a promotion, selected for a role or project or who receives funds, support or a pay-rise.
- When moderating a discussion, running a group coaching session or team-building activity, you decide who gets seen and heard.
- Finally, consider that other people often take their cues for how to behave and treat others from those in a position of power—and sometimes that person in power is you.
What you say and how you behave matters in the DEIB space
You will, at times, have the power to influence both people’s lives—and their sense of belonging. And we encourage you to actively support people who feel they don’t belong.
But how do we know when to practice DEIB principles?
Well, it’s not always obvious. We have to intentionally work on being aware that there’s difference all around us, all the time.
How can you use your power positively to support and include those who may be different?
Well, sometimes, we’re reminded to be mindful of inclusion when someone in our sphere has a visible or self-declared difference, such as a disability, skin colour, age or gender.
However, many differences aren’t visible. You can’t visually identify someone who is a single parent, someone who ‘passes’ as White but has experienced race-related trauma, someone who is gay or from a different religious background.
Some clues to difference can be aspects of someone’s behaviour or communication that (consciously or unconsciously to you) ‘feel’ different from yours or the norm around you.
So one helpful thing you can do is to practice being inclusive all the time
We can’t always know how different people are from us or the group we’re in.
So the easiest way is to always be aware of potential difference. And this is a practice. And if we always practice awareness, eventually it will become a habit.
An interesting exampleA while ago Abena worked with a Bosnian who looked like a White American male. Yet he had suffered inter-generational trauma from genocide and communicated differently to those around him. People found him unconventional and made judgemental statements about him, but they didn’t understand him—until they heard his story. Then everything made sense, including the uncompromising passion he had for advocacy work and his extremely direct communication style. And that’s an example of why it’s so important to be inclusive! It’s not just about including people who are obviously or self-declared different, but being aware that there are many unknown challenges people have experienced and are going through. |
What can we do to help everyone feel like they belong?
Well, when you’re in a position of power, and you notice—or discover someone is different or from a marginalised background:
1) Start with you
If you can be honest with yourself, you’re a great barometer for what others may be thinking or feeling.
- Ask yourself: “To what extent do I feel this person ‘belongs’ in our space?” and then see what comes up for you and why.
- Notice what you think and feel. You may realise that this person has at some point expressed a viewpoint that differed from yours or made you feel uncomfortable in some way.
- Consider what needs to change for you to be comfortable… Are you wishing—or thinking it should be—them? Perhaps it could be you that changes…
- Finally ask yourself: What might be a more kind, empathetic response?
2) Now consider how you might support this person
- Begin with the obvious: treat everyone with respect and listen to their thoughts and opinions, even when they seem strange or different from yours.
- Ask yourself how you might avoid making assumptions or reinforcing inequality?
- Consider how you could give this person a voice to be heard and speak up for themselves.
- Ask yourself: How can I empower this person (even if it means giving up a bit of your own power)?
A quick check-inWe also need to be careful that we don’t swoop in to “save” or help someone who is different, and 1) make them uncomfortable and 2) turn ourselves into the hero—even if it’s unintentional. There is a difference between advocacy and saviourism. And the below comes from the article How to act like an advocate, not like a savior written by Neha Vyas. You can read the full article here. “While the line between saviorism and advocacy can sometimes be fine… Advocacy is recognizing the power of one’s own voice to fight for others as well as reconciling with an unearned privilege and using this to increase access and opportunity for those who are just as deserving. Saviorism, simply put, is the complex whereby one believes they have all the answers and solutions… and an assumption that they inherently know best.” “A key difference between active advocacy and saviorism is the former relies on advocates recognizing when they should sit back and listen rather than dominate conversations that they don’t fully understand.” So yes, this DEIB stuff can get tricky and awkward at times, even when we mean well. |
How to truly create belonging
When we are in a position of power, we have the opportunity to really make a difference. And it’s important to remember that DEIB principles are not just for when we see differences—they’re for creating a sense of belonging for everyone, all the time.
Belonging grows from a commitment to making space for everyone, whether their differences are visible or not.
By being open-minded and practicing self-awareness continuously, we contribute to environments where everyone feels they truly belong, be it in the office, personal or coaching space.
Which means that if you include and welcome everyone, regardless of visible or invisible differences or similarities, now you’ve created true belonging!
So, how do you use your power wisely?
Using your power wisely is not about going out looking for differences in order to act through a DEIB lens.
Instead, we ask that you become aware of your power, educate yourself about DEIB principles, and then use that power wisely and helpfully.
Here’s a summary of what this looks like:
- Recognize that you’re in a position of power and have the ability to make a difference.
- Practice being aware of your own reactions (using yourself as a barometer)
- Choose to be inclusive of everyone as your way of being.
- Step up when you do notice someone needs or—ideally—has asked for support. But importantly, do this from a place of advocacy and empowering others not swooping in to save the day.
So if we leave you with one big point to ponder at the end of this DEIB article series it’s this:
|
And now it’s over to you!
So, what do you think? What did you learn from this article? And importantly, what will you do differently?
What are you doing (or have you done) to advocate for others or ensure everyone feels like they belong? Do you see gaps or have ways that you consider DEIB in your coaching? Please share any thoughts, ideas and reflections inspired by this article in the comments below.
Remember that if you decide to start ‘diversity’ conversations with fellow coaches in person or in online spaces, you are contributing to greater awareness and a more inclusive coaching industry.
Where Next?
Well, did you read the entire series on DEIB yet? You might also like:
- Read the introductory: 7 Ways You Can Increase (Your) Cultural Awareness in Your Coaching Practice
- Read the story of how these articles came to be here >>
- The series of 7 articles:
- 1) Identity Mapping Exercises: The Identity Iceberg (with Free .PDF Tool)
- 2) Review Your Marketing Materials (With Checklist)
- 3) Include Identity & Culture in Your Onboarding Process
- 4) Serve Marginalised Individuals/Groups
- 5) Create Your Inclusion Statement (with Free .PDF Tool)
- 6) Help Make Coaching Financially Accessible for Everyone!
- This one 7) Recognize and Use Your Power Wisely!
Lastly, whilst you won’t see a disclosure in every article on our blog, we think it’s important to do so when covering this DEIB topic:
| DISCLOSURE: This article has been written from the perspective of a female who is (largely) heteronormative and of White European descent and another atypical female who is of Ghanaian, Irish, and British descent. We acknowledge that even with both our perspectives and best intentions, we may (like everyone) have blind spots and are open to discussion about these. |
So what do you think? Tell us what we missed or what else should be on these lists! What did you take away from this article? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Author Bios
Emma-Louise Elsey has been coaching since 2003. She’s the founder of both The Coaching Tools Company.com and her latest venture, Fierce Kindness where she shares personal tips, tools and ideas to transform ourselves—and our world! Originally a project/relationship manager for Fortune 500 companies she’s combined her passion for coaching, creativity and love of systems to create 100+ brandable coaching exercises including 30 completely free coaching tools. She serves coaches through her newsletter for coaches and loves to offer ideas for your coaching toolbox! Learn more about Emma-Louise & see all their articles here >> |
Contributing author: 
